Yes We Can

I am no sports fan, of any sport. And I don't need to be to get charged up to support Team USA for ice-hockey at the Olymics after watching this 5 year old Warrior of a young man speak. Check it out if you haven't - some 2 million people have.

Reclaim your heart

Today, I ask that you take 4 minutes to watch the video at this site: www.mkpgo.com. Many of our readers are already part of the global community of men - where all men are welcome - the ManKind Project. Today I ask all of you who read this blog to watch this video to get a sense of the work that men have the opportunity to do at the New Warrior Training Adventure. It happens throughout the year at regional centers around the world. I belong to the NorthWest US center - www.mkpnw.org and am so grateful for this community of trusted men. Plug aside, I want to touch on the statement "reclaim your heart" in the video. How many of us recognize that we give parts of our soul away along the way from conception to today. We are subjected to our environment and consciously or (more often) subconsciously we take on other peoples beliefs as ours. Reclaiming our heart is paramount to reclaiming the self, that self that is one with its creator and one with all that exists. So regardless of what you choose to do today, take 10 minutes to get silent, ponder on a current challenge in your life and ask yourself: "what would my heart say?" / "what would love do?"

Swedish Blooms

My dear friend Stanley shared this with me and I had to blog about it. His mother-in-law Shirley made her transition this Sunday days before her 95th birthday. Here's an except of what Stanley shared, a true example of a Resonant Man experience: "namaste bobbyb et al......today I learned that the swedish home health team dedicated the day to my mom in law Shirley .......Resha sent the below email in response to the question of where to send donations.........I will get the exact email/website but it is a program called Swedish Blooms begun by the grief counselor Ross, last year after a conversation with Shirley regarding how much she missed being out in the garden....those of you who have been to our house lately know that we have turned the roof of our two car garage into shirley's garden....veggies, flowers and a three person swing.........it is a wonderland......thanks again for the love and support that I have felt throughout Shirley's deathing process....." "This is the story: Last spring, Ross, the Swedish Hospice grief counselor was visting with mom. One of the things she told him washow she missed going out in her garden. She really missedseeing the flowers up close. From that conversation, Ross got the idea to offer hospice volunteers and workers the opportunity to bring in flowers from their own gardens to share with homebound patients. The response was overwhelming with the staff. Every Wednesday they would bring in the bounty from their own gardens-- and thesewere taken to patients every wednesday all summer long. Again this summer, the staff wanted to continue the practice. So today, Wednesday,flowers were shared with other patients in mom's honor."

Shug

This is from a recent Esquire blog http://www.esquire.com/blogs/endorsement/obama-shug-021109 - read my thoughts at the end, if you choose.

"The combination of a shake and hug has been around for years. One hand grasps the other man's hand, and one arm goes around his shoulder. The handshake is facile. The hug is tender. But the shug is right there in the middle — masculine and affectionate at the same time, reserved but expressive. It allows you to put yourself out there by bringing the other guy in. Close but not so close. It's more than a shake, less than a hug. It's a shug.

The shug can be predetermined: You can go in shugging. Or it can be decided upon during the course of the ordinary (if all-important) handshake. But the choice is yours. Because you have the guy's hand. He can't get away. Which brings up the interesting part: With a shug you can inflict affection. Like when Barack Obama shugged John McCain during one of their presidential debates last October. At that moment the elegance and utility of the shug were fully realized. That's when it went beyond merely being the future president's signature greeting and became useful to us all. Because what appeared at first like a physical manifestation of unity may also have been disarming. With that shug, he pulled McCain in. He literally kept his enemy close. He leaned in so far that he could plant the kiss of death. Or maybe it wasn't nefarious at all. Maybe he just likes the guy. Either way, McCain got shugged."

Here's my take - cute term, the shug AND I am all for an all out hug. I personally feel a hug seals the deal of trust and honoring each other, unconditionally. It is a male ritual that has been lost in the American culture (for the most part) and is gradually surfacing in men's groups that are based on accountability and self-responsibility (e.g. The ManKind Project).

Stand by Me

I love how songs are such powerful metaphors for my deepest desires in life. Please click on the picture and watch this video shared by a dear friend. I dare you to take this video to heart. Despite all the bombardment of doom and gloom - imagine the power of standing by each other, standing for each other, trusting each other, knowing that each one of us are unique individual expressions of one source - we all come and go to the same place. There are no boxes, no right/wrong, no ups/downs, no love/hate, no you/me - there is simply one truth, that truth is God's truth, that truth is perfect and that truth is my truth now. I dare you to take EVERY fear you have for a week and instead believe in the truth of this video - the oneness and harmony that it represents, as I judge it. What a wonderful world we live in. Thank you for standing by me.

Bromance

OK, I never thought my first blog for 2009 would be on such a mass-media term (especially after maitri and PemaC) but I am trying to understand the current pop-culture so here goes. I just learnt that MTV has a show by that name 'Bromance.' Yet another "reality" show. Except in this case a bunch of hetrosexual guys are trying to stay in the game to become Brody Jenner's buddy (never heard of this guy but apparently he's the son of Bruce Jenner and a hollywood actor).

Next, I happened to find a definition (actually several) on something called the Urban Dictionary for this term. Here's the one rated the highest:

"Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males."

Steve: Ah, Dave!!! I can't believe you stole this first pressing of Aladdin Sane from your record store for me. We were just talking about this the other night.

Dave: No sweat, pal.

Steve: That is some full-on bromance. You're the man.

What's next folks? Never a dull-moment in the super unreal world of Hollywood but that's just my opinion!

A Young King - in another land

In Bhutan, a new, and very young, King has been crowned. Click on the picture to read about the ceremony and the Constitutional Monarchy. I know nothing about Bhutan, to speak of. What I am intrigued by is reading that the State offers free education and health care to all it's citizens. Hummm...seems like they are living a tradition older than known time. In the tradition of the true purpose of a KING - I believe it was always intended that the monarch's first duty is to protect and care for his/her people. I am assuming they do this with freedom and integrity and equality in Bhutan (might be a big leap of faith) and if I'm off - at least I have a dream I can hold up. A dream I believe the United States is very close to achieving. Again, I see Obama's election as not a big deal as the first Black President. I see it as a very big deal because I believe we will see radical change. I believe he will keep and exceed a lot of his promises of change - and as our "monarch" the politicians will follow him. Yes, there will be debate as there should be but in the end he will guide us through a process of unification, a process of oneness. Will you join me in dreaming and believing this and more is possible?

Great advertising

Go visit this link: http://pages.samsung.com/us/howiseeit/#/how-i-see-it-films and witness what I believe is brilliant advertising. Yes, I am biased given the focus of The Resonant Man on celebrating manhood, on exploring the many forms of rites of passage for men and on anything to do with the modern man who is standing up in responsibility, courage and the power that he is. This ad and campaign are a great example of fantastic story telling, engaging with emotion and humor at the same time, and linking a mainstream sport (NFL Football) with a modern day twist. I particularly love how the father crowns his son - that is a rite of passage! Please send me other great ads that celebrate the resonant men that are all around us. In these times of fear and uncertainty - it is of the utmost importance to celebrate the amazing grace all around us. I believe we live in the most amazing times - where we are finally awakening to the FACT that our thoughts create our reality. I choose to focus on love and making my dreams a reality - and not fear. How about you?

Soul Journey

If you don't know who Bill Plotkin and his Animas Valley Institute are - check them out. Watch a brief interview with Bill by clicking on his picture. The primary goal and method of all Animas Valley Institute programs is the encounter with soul.

I particularly love the quote on their website (http://www.animas.org/) from the legendary story teller - Joseph Campbell: "The heroes of all time have gone before us. The labyrinth is thoroughly known. We have only to follow the thread of the hero path, and where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god. And where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves. Where we had thought to travel outward, we will come to the center of our own existence. And where we had thought to be alone, we will be with all the world." - Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces

Have you had your vision quest? Remember, it doesn't have to be out in the wilderness, but that certainly helps to quiet our busy minds.

The Boy Crisis

The suicide ratio among boys and girls age 9 is equal but between the age of 20-24, the ratio goes up to 6:1. Please watch the second video on the right where Warren Farrell describes The Boy Crisis with a lot more statistics. Dr. Farrell was the only man who was actively involved with NOW (National Organization of Women) in the '60s and '70s. In the past decade, he has switched his focus to show that it's men that are being discriminated and ignored. This topic is totally under the radar of main stream media. It is a very important subject. It's at the heart of the immature masculine of today, the irresponsible leaders of our world/our corporations. Hopefully among the many benefits of the current economic vows we will shed more light on this issue and seek to raise awareness to how men can step into being the mature masculine. More on this over time but this is at the heart of The Resonant Man Project.

What makes a True Warrior?

If you haven't picked it up already, I believe every man must go get a copy of the latest issue of What is Enlightenment? focused on "constructing the new man." Among the four perspectives they cover - one is titled "Beyond the Rambo Mentality." One belief they address is that men tend to "go-it-alone." Jayson Gaddis (a Gestait therapist who directs a wilderness "rite-of-passage" program for young adults in Boulder, Colorado) talks about the constructive aspect of this masculine trait:

"I think there's a huge positive side to it, and let's call it what it is. It's the warrior archetype. I think of a true archetypal warrior who is embodied, conscious, and integrated in community. He is on purpose, kicking ass in life, and having fun. A warrior takes full responsibility for his life. No one's going to do it for him. No one's going to carry him along. He's not a victim. I think conscious warriorship is about taking full responsibility-stepping into your own life in a completely embodied way." I love every bit of what Gaddis has to say. I would also interpret/paraphrase it with the 12-step Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change (You). The courage to change the things I can (Me). And the wisdom to know the difference."

More about killing the boy

Warning - this piece is not a recommended path but simply a documentation of 5 very bizarre ways of boys-to-men rites of passage from around the world. Click on the picture and watch the videos at the link. Here's the main point I want to make - we are so far removed from ritual of our indigenous origins in the post-modern world that we have gone to the other extreme. Many men go to extremes to have create radical experiences - be it binge drinking, dangerous adventures or taking risks in relationships/work/life. I believe if we went back to rituals that strip us of our endless comforts of modern age - and connected with our true self - our soul, we have a better chance of silencing ourselves to hear what is our core purpose in life. It is my believe that we are all here to improve ourselves for a higher calling. Each life-time is an important chapter on the journey. The longer I spend my years trying to figure out HOW I am to contribute and give in this life - I will loose focus on the WHAT I am to give. I have been fortunate to have been through a few vision quest experience - nothing as extreme as these examples. I will ponder these and other ways of stepping into the mature male over time at this blog. Stay tuned!

Killing of the Boy - Part 2

Today, I'd like to quote another perspective on masculinity from what is enlightenment?'s issue on "Constructing the New Man - 4 unique perspectives on masculinity in the 21st century." One of the four perspectives is an interview with Nathaniel Fick - "The Making of a Marine Officer." Lieutenant Fick's book One Bullet Away: The Making of a Marine Officer is a best seller. As I read the interview with Fick I was truly inspired by his passion and in his pursuit of his mission. He says: "I wanted something that might kill me-or leave me better, stronger, more capable. I wanted to be a warrior." I admire the values that he embodies and how he is now taking his experience - as a survivor - to the business world of leadership. My perspective is to propose that there are other ways of "killing the boy" - as I interpret in Fick's heroism in wanting "something that might kill me." In scores of stories and research on masculinity - it is clearly documented (Carl Yung in particular) that in order for the male species to evolve to the "mature masculine" one must "kill the boy." In case you think I mean that literally - naturally I don't. Metaphorically this is a very important phenomenon - the absence of which leads to boys remaining boys as they lead our world - lacking purpose, lacking a sense of belonging, lacking a connectedness as they drift in this complex world we live in. I propose to men who think joining the armed forces is the only way to get this "better, stronger, more capable" aspect of a warrior - that there are many other ways to get there. Here are just a few: MKP's New Warrior Training Adventure is a great start and the most authentic experience of men's rite of passage I have experienced (initiated at Camp WaRiKi, Washington - September 2007). There are scores of organizations that take youth and adults through vision quests of varying intensities. If you haven't done one - definitely look into it. The most severe I believe is the Lakota tradition - a young man (after years of preparation) is put inside a hole in the ground. It is about the size of a casket. The hole is covered with raw cow-hide so he is in complete darkness. He is left there for a week - maybe with water but nothing else. Stripped of all his worldly elements. They say the men who emerge from this experience are either awakened to their calling in life or go insane. I think it's worth taking the chance in order to save a soul for languishing in nothingness. Please share of other such experiences of rites of passage - that I believe are a means to "killing the boy" so the man may emerge.

Joseph Campbell: Follow Your Bliss

This week's video story teller is Joseph Campbell, the legendary scholar and professor of The Power of Myth. Note, the videos are a service from You Tube based on a key word search. The videos might change from time to time but make sure to look up the Joseph Campbell interview by Bill Moyer on The Power of Myth by going to You Tube directly. A couple of things to set the stage for many posts to come about Joseph Campbell's work: #1. "follow your bliss" is at the heart of The Resonant Man #2. he was a master of story-telling #3. his Hero's Journey is the basis of most Hollywood epics #4. he considered rites of passage integral to evolution #5. his aliveness was renowned Please join me in sharing what you have taken from and your perspectives on this legend - Joseph Campbell. Also check out the Joseph Campbell Foundation.

Killing of the Boy - Part 1

I believe, as many scholars, theologists and analytical psychologists (starting with Carl Jung) have proposed - that in order for a man to step into his mature masculine - the boy must die. I will be looking at this paradigm in several parts. Rites of passage are a critical element of this transition - and a ritual that has been mostly forgotten in modern times. You don't have to go on a vision quest to have a rite of passage. Here's a story that has always blown me away, told by Jack Cornfield and repeated by Rev. Kathi Anne Lewis of the Center for Spiritual Living in Seattle recently:

(click picture to watch a video of Jack Korkfield on meditation)

A 14-year old young man kills another 14-year old in a rival gang. He is sentenced to juvenile court. As he leaves the court room the mother of the boy who he killed says to him: "I will kill you." As the days pass, this mother starts to visit the young man in detention. She starts to take him cookies and books and soon is visiting him more than once a week. When he is released and has no where to go she offers him to stay with her. She pays for his education and finds him a job. Years later she asks him: "Remember when I said to you 'I will kill you?'" The young man says with fear "Yes." She replies: "Well I have. I have killed the boy who killed my son."

This story is among the most powerful examples of true compassion I have ever come across. Imagine if instead of hate and negative energy toward people, things or situations we encounter if we could be so bold as to take such a leap of faith, to believe anything is possible and most of all to truly forgive.

Please comment on what you believe makes us resonate and rise from the ashes?

Women Leaders Speak of Men - Part 1

Continuing with the exploration of the current issue of What is Enlightenment? magazine - here's an except from one of 19 women who share their perspectives on men:

Niurka is a motivational speaker and consultant. NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) trainer, and peak performance coach. She says in WIE:

"There is a misperception that masculine energy is all about dominating, about taking over and being in charge, but that's really not the case. That's more boy energy, and it's grounded in fear and inadequacy. This is a symptom of men not going through the process of understanding their role as men. Men no longer have rites of passage to help them transition out of boy mentality into being centered and grounded and mature. Therefore, we have boys running around in business or in government, and what they do is what we often think of as male energy. One of the key elements of an enlightened man is that he would be clear on what is most important to him in the context of life, his relationships, his business. And when a man is centered in that enlightened space, he creates a space for the divine feminine to be truly grounded in women. That's when I believe we'll really see quantum leaps in the paradigms of thinking and quantum leaps in consciousness."

I think Niurka nailed it on the head. Just as great organizations such as the ManKind Project propose - a man lives alive when he is clear about his mission, his purpose. When men are not clear about their mission - they are like a ship without a compass to guide them - they drift and many times wash up on shore, lost and abandoned.

Please comment on this excerpt from http://www.wie.org/ and share your perspectives. Also - soon to come - You Tube posted interviews related to this issue of What is Enlightenment? about men. Come back soon and comment on the.