Killing of the Boy - Part 2

Today, I'd like to quote another perspective on masculinity from what is enlightenment?'s issue on "Constructing the New Man - 4 unique perspectives on masculinity in the 21st century." One of the four perspectives is an interview with Nathaniel Fick - "The Making of a Marine Officer." Lieutenant Fick's book One Bullet Away: The Making of a Marine Officer is a best seller. As I read the interview with Fick I was truly inspired by his passion and in his pursuit of his mission. He says: "I wanted something that might kill me-or leave me better, stronger, more capable. I wanted to be a warrior." I admire the values that he embodies and how he is now taking his experience - as a survivor - to the business world of leadership. My perspective is to propose that there are other ways of "killing the boy" - as I interpret in Fick's heroism in wanting "something that might kill me." In scores of stories and research on masculinity - it is clearly documented (Carl Yung in particular) that in order for the male species to evolve to the "mature masculine" one must "kill the boy." In case you think I mean that literally - naturally I don't. Metaphorically this is a very important phenomenon - the absence of which leads to boys remaining boys as they lead our world - lacking purpose, lacking a sense of belonging, lacking a connectedness as they drift in this complex world we live in. I propose to men who think joining the armed forces is the only way to get this "better, stronger, more capable" aspect of a warrior - that there are many other ways to get there. Here are just a few: MKP's New Warrior Training Adventure is a great start and the most authentic experience of men's rite of passage I have experienced (initiated at Camp WaRiKi, Washington - September 2007). There are scores of organizations that take youth and adults through vision quests of varying intensities. If you haven't done one - definitely look into it. The most severe I believe is the Lakota tradition - a young man (after years of preparation) is put inside a hole in the ground. It is about the size of a casket. The hole is covered with raw cow-hide so he is in complete darkness. He is left there for a week - maybe with water but nothing else. Stripped of all his worldly elements. They say the men who emerge from this experience are either awakened to their calling in life or go insane. I think it's worth taking the chance in order to save a soul for languishing in nothingness. Please share of other such experiences of rites of passage - that I believe are a means to "killing the boy" so the man may emerge.